Now where did I leave off...

Saturday, December 10th

I have SO much to do!  I guess the plan to go up to Arcata to do Christmas with Seanpaul, Jennifer, and Madisen needs to be changed.

Sunday, December 11th

Met mom and dad at the Polish church...  did errands... cam back to the church for the Wigelia (Polish Christmas dinner)... pretty fun (same food & entertainment) and the woman who reminds me of my Che-Che Jean was there...

Monday, December 12th

It's an "A" day - 3 P.E. classes.  This means that the week will end on an "A" day, too.  Great... I get to finish off the year with my 3rd period students.   At least I won't have them the first day back in January.  Can't they just do the surgery today and get it over with? 

Meeting after school went until about 5 p.m.

5:30 p.m. appointment at Michael's to get my hair cut.  I may as well get it out of my face now and take the adjustment form hair to no hair gradually. 

I've asked all of my different doctors about the chances of my losing my hair during chemotherapy and every single one of them has given me this guilty type of look as if to say, "I wish it weren't true, but..."  This look, coupled with a tilted head nod makes me both annoyed and sad.  I would like to think that I'll be one of the few who doesn't lose her hair, but I'd rather focus my energy elsewhere.  With the type of chemotherapy and hormone therapy I'll need after the surgery, it's a given.

My hair was looking pretty shaggy anyway.  It's now a short little Meg Ryan / Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama cut...  I think I'll need one or two more haircuts to transition into something like the Emma Watson pixie cut right around February.

Michael is great.  Getting my haircut shorter isn't as fun as it has been in the past, though.  Today it is just one more thing to check off of my list of things to do.  I see a chart with opportunities to earn gold stars in my future.

Tuesday, December 13th

Went to teacher's association meeting today after school.  Told Lois, Fran, and Vince.  I guess I spilled the news too abruptly this time and took them off guard.  I'll need to be more careful from now on. 

Wednesday, December 14th

FINALLY told my friends about my diagnosis.  During lunch I blurted out, "OK so I need to tell you guys something."  Someone said, "You're pregnant."  Ha ha, nope.  It's worse.

I was more cautious this time and went with my rehearsed statement, "I've been diagnosed with a type of breast cancer that requires surgery over the winter break and chemotherapy starting about a month after that."  I looked around and saw their faces staring back at me... concerned, shocked, stunned.  I felt my heart drop for the first time since I found out my diagnosis over the phone last week.  Telling this particular group makes this whole thing MUCH more real.  Oh crap - this really IS happening.

Oh crap.